Friday, November 9, 2007

Clever Title Involving the Word "BLIND" and a Terrible Pun (i.e. Blind And Bitchin)

The first thing you have to know about me is that I don't have a job. Despite this, I have a strict daily routine I like to follow, and no ritual is more important than my daily trip to the Coffee Shop (rhymes with Starbucks) to get my day going. Usually, the biggest obstacle in my way is dog crap (just seeing it ruins my walk) but today presented another challenge: a potentially blind guy.

How do I figure he was potentially blind? Because as I was walking he said, "Excuse me sir, can you help me? I am blind." At this moment, a couple of factors came into play:

1. I have been trained from a very young age to ignore strangers when they approach me in New York. On average, this has worked in my favor. For example, I think I did well to ignore the man holding a large shopping bag outside of the Dildo Store, saying "come here, buddy!" and gesturing with his finger. The possible results from me actually "going there, buddy" could be described with adjectives ranging from "traumatizing" to "felonious" - and I wisely stayed away.

2. I consider myself to be a compassionate human being, and the guy looked pretty helpless.

Essentially, it was the age old battle between the Heart and the Mind. However, the Criminal (I am making an assumption here) made one crucial mistake - if he was, in fact, blind how did he know to call me sir? I know that the loss of certain senses can increase the acuity of others (I saw Daredevil), but given that I was not making any sounds, and if anything I smelled of "White Jasmine" body wash - what was he going off of?

So I did what anyone else would do in the situation - I walked around him (making sure that he didn't hit me with his stick, which was not a proper blind guy stick, by the way) and got my coffee. On my way back from the Coffee Shop, I didn't see the Criminal, so I can only assume he was robbing some poor soul at gunpoint. Or he was hit by a car.


Fabiano R said...

so what would you have done if called you m'am but still didn't have a proper blind stick?

Xtobal said...

ever the compassionate individual...